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Why Valentine's is an event best celebrated late

14th February 2017

Why Valentine's is an event best celebrated late

Let’s get one thing straight, The Simpsons is the best sitcom ever.

By Ryan Shoesmith

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The delivery price of a dozen red roses is on average 58% higher on Valentine's Day.

If there’s one thing we know about the shows protagonist Homer, it’s that he is painfully forgetful. Birthdays, anniversaries, nuclear meltdown prevention codes, Valentine’s Days, yes he’s forgotten them all.

Loveable in his forgetfulness, what if Homer is on to something? Here are four reasons why if you’re late for Valentine’s there’s no need to panic.

1. Events are uncomfortably busy

Booking an event on Valentine’s Day is like trying to reserve a table at The Gilded Truffle. Mediocre shows sell out months in advance and bars burst at the seams as people jostle for position. Valentine’s Day is chaos. Truth be told, we can enjoy our partners more on other occasions so why not go Homer and book events a little later?

Located minutes from the Science Museum, the five-star Ampersand Hotel will be serving their science of love afternoon tea until February the 15th. Cupid chocolates are hidden within a fossil box of white chocolate ‘soil’, Valentine’s shortbread is served with a special ‘Love Elixir’ mocktail and warm heart-shaped scones are up for grabs.

Slots are available for £32.50 per person, or £45.50 with a glass of Ruinart Rosé Champagne.

For wellness enthusiasts with a bigger budget, Hotel Café Royal’s Akasha spa is hosting an aquatic healing retreat in its watsu pool, offering what it calls “creative techniques of connecting with each other through the power of touch.”

The treatment is available until December the 31st and costs £660 per couple.

2. Romantics get fleeced

There are plenty of hopeless romantics left in this world and if you are dating one, they may well be short of cash after February the 14th because, according to the Daily Mail, the delivery price of a dozen red roses is on average 58% higher on Valentine's Day.

It doesn’t stop there, cinemas have also seen an average price increase of 36%. Netflix, anybody?

In all honesty, no cliché has been done to death more than a bunch of red roses to signify love but, if you absolutely insist, take a leaf out of Homer’s book and raid the Kwik-E-Mart for reduced to clear flowers a day late.

3. Thousands of soppy Facebook status’

From the outbreak of the Ebola virus, to the discovery of the Higgs boson particle and Donald Trump becoming US president, The Simpsons has been accurately predicting the future since 1989.

Remember the Valentine’s Day episode with an Elton John cameo when the wives of Springfield become jealous of the attention Apu gives to his wife Manjula? This piece of social commentary fits today.

Those who log onto Facebook on February the 14th ought to have a strong stomach because people’s cringe-worthy status’ devoting their unwavering love to their ‘soulmate’ is enough to make you throw up.

True romance is logging out while everybody else logs in, zigging when others zag. Don’t get caught up in the crossfire of soppy exchanges, wait a while and pick your moment. 

4. Hotel rooms cost more

If you booked a hotel room this Valentine’s, I have one word only for you. D’oh! 

That’s because a Trivago study has found UK hotel prices can more than double, making February the 14th one of most expensive days of the year for a romantic night away. Worse still, Valentine’s Day falls on the same dates as February half term and families looking to go on holiday have been priced out by the spike.

With over £700 million being invested in love across Britain this Valentine’s Day, picking any of the other 364 days of the year to celebrate would surely be better.